I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
