life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
