i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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