We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
