yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
