i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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