I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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