I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
