I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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