Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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