Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
