there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
