He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
