I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
