you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
