Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
