Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hello my rib-scented angel!