i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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