he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
