nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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