Duck Duck Cougar?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
