Im at strip club and am horny
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
