12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize