so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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