My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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