I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
