Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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