There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
