His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
