Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
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This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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