You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
