so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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