if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just blew my weed a kiss
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
