This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
