yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred