Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
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remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made