the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
