Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
