No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize