I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
