He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Your penis caused this!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
