Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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