I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
