I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
one might say we're banned from that church
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
