happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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