Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
