if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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