I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize