Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
