I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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