Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
