how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
