it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
