Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
