My nipple is on Facebook.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
