arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So vagazzling was a success
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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