four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
