I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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