Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
