yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
