wat bout pragnant strippers??
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
please don't ironically join a cult
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