he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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