Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize