super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He passed out mid-signature
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
