after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
