I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
