He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My life is pants optional.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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