I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
