How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
